Last night, watched 'Like
Water for Chocolate,' on
dextromethorphan.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Clap On, Clap Off
I know a boy. We’ll call him Bob. He’s about fifteen years old. His best Christmas gift this year was a Clapper. “It’s great,” he told me, “now I don’t have to get up to turn the lights on or off.”
Okay, fair enough. That’s the whole purpose of this product, and it’s been fairly successful for the past twenty or so years that it’s been around.
But what did Bob do next? He recorded himself clapping on his iPhone. This way, he doesn’t have to get up OR clap to turn the lights on or off.
Does this seem weird to anyone else? I hate to sound trite—I really, really hate to use this example—but really, there are children in other countries who are starving for food, whose parents are killed right in front of them, who fear getting abducted by terrorist groups in the middle of the night. And this guy can’t even get up to turn his lights off.
Can I tell you something else? Bob wants to be in the Marine Corps. Is this the kind of person I want protecting me, my family, my country? I don’t know, but I don’t even have much of a choice. Maybe I’m just sheltered but it seems like most young people these days really are this disconnected from reality. This lazy, (though perhaps not to this extent). At my school, we live in suites (two double rooms connected by a bathroom). If we have something to say to another person in our suite, it is more likely that we’ll text, IM, or call him/her rather than walk four feet to say it to his face. It just gives me the feeling of disjointedness among today’s youth. Our friends and acquaintances seem to be hardly more than an entry in a digital phonebook.
And I know that there are young people who have a strong work ethic and moral sense. And the fact that Bob doesn’t want to get up or clap to turn off his lights doesn’t make him a bad person. Maybe it doesn’t say as much about him or today’s youth as a whole as I think it does.
But if it does, and if I am right, then I shiver to think of what’s coming next.
How are kids today supposed to grow up to be parents? We’re so coddled and, for lack of a better word, spoiled, that we can’t even take care of ourselves. My grandparents didn’t just quit a job because they didn’t like their boss or the people they worked with. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they didn’t like their bosses or coworkers. But they didn’t have the choice to leave that job. Nobody told them they can just get a new job on a whim. Maybe it’s because times were harder, and my grandparents worked not for their own fulfillment but to support their family. But, I don’t know, it just seems that people today are simply not up to the challenge. Even if they were up to it, how could they possibly be prepared for it? Is our generation just inherently weaker than the past? Is it because our parents were too easy on us? The truth is, it doesn’t even matter. Doesn’t it seem clear that as one generation follows the next we are becoming less and less in tune with our planet and each other?
Maybe we’ve just been given too many options. I feel an intrinsic longing for the days of apprenticeships, arranged marriages, even teachers who whack the knuckles of their students. Is it discipline we’re missing? People have been so adamant about fighting for freedom, but isn’t there a point at which we should realize how free we are, and start trying to work together? In an anarchist society, people are the epitome of free; but that system could not work unless people find inspiration within themselves to stop fighting the system and work together for the good of everybody.
I apologize for my rambles.
That is all.
Okay, fair enough. That’s the whole purpose of this product, and it’s been fairly successful for the past twenty or so years that it’s been around.
But what did Bob do next? He recorded himself clapping on his iPhone. This way, he doesn’t have to get up OR clap to turn the lights on or off.
Does this seem weird to anyone else? I hate to sound trite—I really, really hate to use this example—but really, there are children in other countries who are starving for food, whose parents are killed right in front of them, who fear getting abducted by terrorist groups in the middle of the night. And this guy can’t even get up to turn his lights off.
Can I tell you something else? Bob wants to be in the Marine Corps. Is this the kind of person I want protecting me, my family, my country? I don’t know, but I don’t even have much of a choice. Maybe I’m just sheltered but it seems like most young people these days really are this disconnected from reality. This lazy, (though perhaps not to this extent). At my school, we live in suites (two double rooms connected by a bathroom). If we have something to say to another person in our suite, it is more likely that we’ll text, IM, or call him/her rather than walk four feet to say it to his face. It just gives me the feeling of disjointedness among today’s youth. Our friends and acquaintances seem to be hardly more than an entry in a digital phonebook.
And I know that there are young people who have a strong work ethic and moral sense. And the fact that Bob doesn’t want to get up or clap to turn off his lights doesn’t make him a bad person. Maybe it doesn’t say as much about him or today’s youth as a whole as I think it does.
But if it does, and if I am right, then I shiver to think of what’s coming next.
How are kids today supposed to grow up to be parents? We’re so coddled and, for lack of a better word, spoiled, that we can’t even take care of ourselves. My grandparents didn’t just quit a job because they didn’t like their boss or the people they worked with. In fact, I can almost guarantee that they didn’t like their bosses or coworkers. But they didn’t have the choice to leave that job. Nobody told them they can just get a new job on a whim. Maybe it’s because times were harder, and my grandparents worked not for their own fulfillment but to support their family. But, I don’t know, it just seems that people today are simply not up to the challenge. Even if they were up to it, how could they possibly be prepared for it? Is our generation just inherently weaker than the past? Is it because our parents were too easy on us? The truth is, it doesn’t even matter. Doesn’t it seem clear that as one generation follows the next we are becoming less and less in tune with our planet and each other?
Maybe we’ve just been given too many options. I feel an intrinsic longing for the days of apprenticeships, arranged marriages, even teachers who whack the knuckles of their students. Is it discipline we’re missing? People have been so adamant about fighting for freedom, but isn’t there a point at which we should realize how free we are, and start trying to work together? In an anarchist society, people are the epitome of free; but that system could not work unless people find inspiration within themselves to stop fighting the system and work together for the good of everybody.
I apologize for my rambles.
That is all.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Pure linguistic genius
I want to write about last weekend at the film festival later, but for now, a hilarious article.
Unfortunately, I didn't write this, but I wish I did.
People who like liking things on Facebook
By Kevin Slane
I like everything about Facebook. I like the ever-changing layout and the inevitable groups decrying every miniscule change. I like the creepiness it can cause, including one particular instance in College Library when a girl walked up to a rather seedy-looking guy and demanded to know why he was looking at her profile. I even like the awfulness of Facebook Chat, and how there is no single browser that can support its endless bugs. But the thing I like the most about Facebook is liking. When Facebook introduced that little “like” button, I wish I could have liked it. Who knew that by the time that little button was done growing, I would be able to like a page devoted to the like button, essentially fulfilling my wishes?
I like statuses like “Jon just can’t catch a break :-(.” I like photos from the album “R.I.P. Patches.” I like when people I barely know post a quiz asking me “How good of a kisser are you?” on my wall. I like when my friend from high school becomes friends with the biggest tool from our graduating class, who clearly found her through the omniscient “people you may know” tool. Hell, sometimes I even like things I should actually like, like when my cousin gets engaged or when that girl who dropped out of my high school has her third kid with a guy whose profile name is simply “Tron.”
Now, Facebook has changed once again, choosing to let you like pages rather than become a fan of them. The only real drawback to this is I will probably no longer like “becoming a fan,” a page that only exists because people like me thought it was hilarious to have “Kevin became a fan of ‘becoming a fan’” show up on their friend’s News Feeds. I like the prospect of transforming into an oscillating desk fan as much as the next fan of “becoming a fan,” but sometimes you have to let these kinds of jokes die.
Of course, there’s new jokes to be made with the liking of pages. Almost immediately, my News Feed was full of stories like “Jamie likes ‘it on top’” and “Tron likes ‘it rough’.” ‘Cuz it’s like sex, GET IT?!?! They like “it dirty?!?!” I’m literally LOL’ing out loud on the floor, and my ass just fell off. And, of course, just as I had seen “Mike became a fan of ‘becoming a fan’” in months prior, I saw “Mike likes ‘liking things. ’”
Unfortunately, there’s a flaw in this new liking system that I definitely don’t like. When I went to like that Mike liked liking things, Facebook made me like liking things, not like that Mike liked liking things. Then, my friend Wyche (sounds like “Mike”) liked liking things, when he really wanted to like that I had liked liking things. So Wyche (via Mike) liked liking things, and I wanted to like that he liked it too. So I wrote to Wyche, “I wish that I could like that you like liking things.” Wyche, who’s a bit of a tyke, decided to like my wall post.
This, of course, carries a completely different meaning, as Wyche liked that I wished I could like that Wyche like liking things, not that I liked liking things. Then my friend (and fellow Page Two columnist) Jon Spike wrote on my wall in a panic, “I tried to like you liking things but clicking like next to you liking liking things just made me like liking things instead of liking you liking liking things.” Of course, I explained to Spike I had faced a similar like dilemma with Mike and Wyche, at which point we theorized this was all a big way for Mark Zuckerberg to say “psych!” and provide a counter-strike to the millions of outraged users who dislike every change he makes to Facebook.
As it turns out, however, Mike, Wyche, Spike and the rest of my Facebook friends were about to witness the like revolution, the third major change in the use of the like button, commonly referred to as the Third Leich (sounds like “Reich”). In the coming months, Facebook is rolling out a platform called Facebook Connect, in which sites all over the Internet will connect with your Facebook profile, giving you the power to like literally anything. Like the video “Guy rides bike into wall” on College Humor? “Like” that bike! Like the story “Baseball umpires go on strike” on CNN? “Like” that strike! Like that Mike used a facial recognition site to find out his look-a-like is Dick Van Dyke? “Like” that Van Dyke look-a-like!
Of course, you may not want all this information published to your News Feed. “Matt likes ‘Trisha gets backdoor plowed and facialized’ on YouPorn” might not go over so well with Matt’s girlfriend. But considering how much joy the like button has given me, I can’t see how installing it on every other website I like to visit could be disliked. If the power of the like button is used to an appropriate level, after all, what’s not to like?
Unfortunately, I didn't write this, but I wish I did.
People who like liking things on Facebook
By Kevin Slane
I like everything about Facebook. I like the ever-changing layout and the inevitable groups decrying every miniscule change. I like the creepiness it can cause, including one particular instance in College Library when a girl walked up to a rather seedy-looking guy and demanded to know why he was looking at her profile. I even like the awfulness of Facebook Chat, and how there is no single browser that can support its endless bugs. But the thing I like the most about Facebook is liking. When Facebook introduced that little “like” button, I wish I could have liked it. Who knew that by the time that little button was done growing, I would be able to like a page devoted to the like button, essentially fulfilling my wishes?
I like statuses like “Jon just can’t catch a break :-(.” I like photos from the album “R.I.P. Patches.” I like when people I barely know post a quiz asking me “How good of a kisser are you?” on my wall. I like when my friend from high school becomes friends with the biggest tool from our graduating class, who clearly found her through the omniscient “people you may know” tool. Hell, sometimes I even like things I should actually like, like when my cousin gets engaged or when that girl who dropped out of my high school has her third kid with a guy whose profile name is simply “Tron.”
Now, Facebook has changed once again, choosing to let you like pages rather than become a fan of them. The only real drawback to this is I will probably no longer like “becoming a fan,” a page that only exists because people like me thought it was hilarious to have “Kevin became a fan of ‘becoming a fan’” show up on their friend’s News Feeds. I like the prospect of transforming into an oscillating desk fan as much as the next fan of “becoming a fan,” but sometimes you have to let these kinds of jokes die.
Of course, there’s new jokes to be made with the liking of pages. Almost immediately, my News Feed was full of stories like “Jamie likes ‘it on top’” and “Tron likes ‘it rough’.” ‘Cuz it’s like sex, GET IT?!?! They like “it dirty?!?!” I’m literally LOL’ing out loud on the floor, and my ass just fell off. And, of course, just as I had seen “Mike became a fan of ‘becoming a fan’” in months prior, I saw “Mike likes ‘liking things. ’”
Unfortunately, there’s a flaw in this new liking system that I definitely don’t like. When I went to like that Mike liked liking things, Facebook made me like liking things, not like that Mike liked liking things. Then, my friend Wyche (sounds like “Mike”) liked liking things, when he really wanted to like that I had liked liking things. So Wyche (via Mike) liked liking things, and I wanted to like that he liked it too. So I wrote to Wyche, “I wish that I could like that you like liking things.” Wyche, who’s a bit of a tyke, decided to like my wall post.
This, of course, carries a completely different meaning, as Wyche liked that I wished I could like that Wyche like liking things, not that I liked liking things. Then my friend (and fellow Page Two columnist) Jon Spike wrote on my wall in a panic, “I tried to like you liking things but clicking like next to you liking liking things just made me like liking things instead of liking you liking liking things.” Of course, I explained to Spike I had faced a similar like dilemma with Mike and Wyche, at which point we theorized this was all a big way for Mark Zuckerberg to say “psych!” and provide a counter-strike to the millions of outraged users who dislike every change he makes to Facebook.
As it turns out, however, Mike, Wyche, Spike and the rest of my Facebook friends were about to witness the like revolution, the third major change in the use of the like button, commonly referred to as the Third Leich (sounds like “Reich”). In the coming months, Facebook is rolling out a platform called Facebook Connect, in which sites all over the Internet will connect with your Facebook profile, giving you the power to like literally anything. Like the video “Guy rides bike into wall” on College Humor? “Like” that bike! Like the story “Baseball umpires go on strike” on CNN? “Like” that strike! Like that Mike used a facial recognition site to find out his look-a-like is Dick Van Dyke? “Like” that Van Dyke look-a-like!
Of course, you may not want all this information published to your News Feed. “Matt likes ‘Trisha gets backdoor plowed and facialized’ on YouPorn” might not go over so well with Matt’s girlfriend. But considering how much joy the like button has given me, I can’t see how installing it on every other website I like to visit could be disliked. If the power of the like button is used to an appropriate level, after all, what’s not to like?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Sorry, one more thing.
My friend, let's just call him GERALD, posted this on facebook:
The rest of the conversation is as follows.
Gerald: and so did you. how does this make no sense?
Me: Why would doctors give retarded kids lobotomies?
if Arizona was giant cage for retarded kids, chaparral would be the doctor in the middle of it giving everyone lobotomies
So I said: This is hilarious because it makes no sense, and you went to Chaparral.The rest of the conversation is as follows.
Gerald: and so did you. how does this make no sense?
Me: Why would doctors give retarded kids lobotomies?
Me: do you mean everybody is retarded because chaparral is giving everyone drugs
that make them stupid
is that what you are saying
Gerald: no
im saying that chaparral is the cause of all the retardedness
Alison: that's what I just asked you
Okay, I still have no idea what's going on, or what this means, but either way, we aren't understanding each other at all and I feel like either one or both of us must sound in fact retarded. Anddd this makes me laugh.
By the way, sorry about the use of "retarded" in this post. I don't usually use that word.
Also, I'm sorry that my posts are mostly a complete waste of time for the people, if any, reading it.
That is all.
I Love You David Lynch
Has anybody else noticed the striking similarity between Sergei Eisenstein and Eraserhead?
They're even wearing basically the same thing. Hilarious. It's funny to me how I am asking this question/pointing this out to nobody because nobody reads my blog. And also, probably nobody else cares that Sergei Eisenstein looks like Eraserhead, at least not enough to call it mindblowing. However, my mind was blown.
Additionally, I just realized that Sergei Eisenstein has three "ei"s in it.
Also, if anybody DOES read this ever, you should watch Eraserhead, or another David Lynch movie, EVEN MORE than I think you should watch The Cabinet of Dr Caligari (actually, now that I think about it, you probably wouldn't even like TCoDC, unless you like silent German films from 1920).
Thank you, and good night!
They're even wearing basically the same thing. Hilarious. It's funny to me how I am asking this question/pointing this out to nobody because nobody reads my blog. And also, probably nobody else cares that Sergei Eisenstein looks like Eraserhead, at least not enough to call it mindblowing. However, my mind was blown.
Additionally, I just realized that Sergei Eisenstein has three "ei"s in it.
Also, if anybody DOES read this ever, you should watch Eraserhead, or another David Lynch movie, EVEN MORE than I think you should watch The Cabinet of Dr Caligari (actually, now that I think about it, you probably wouldn't even like TCoDC, unless you like silent German films from 1920).
Thank you, and good night!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Pantsuit... Uggghhh
I just spent about twenty minutes trying to log on to this website. Why did it take me so long? The world may never know.
Anyway, I was just about to go to bed when I thought to check if the classes for fall are posted. And they are! So I've been navigating that terrible website, whatever, but I'm seeing all these classes that just look awesome! Some are kind of self explanatory, but others aren't. And as far as I can tell there's no way to look at descriptions for any of the classes. Some sound interesting but could be really anything. Take, for example: Doing History (HIST 100Z); Alien Gods (HSID 122); Enlightenment Sexualities (HMSC 119A); Spec Top: Hyphenated Americans (LIT 179A). They all sound vaguely intriguing, but to be honest, I have absolutely no idea what those classes would be about.
I should probably go to bed.
That is all for now.
Anyway, I was just about to go to bed when I thought to check if the classes for fall are posted. And they are! So I've been navigating that terrible website, whatever, but I'm seeing all these classes that just look awesome! Some are kind of self explanatory, but others aren't. And as far as I can tell there's no way to look at descriptions for any of the classes. Some sound interesting but could be really anything. Take, for example: Doing History (HIST 100Z); Alien Gods (HSID 122); Enlightenment Sexualities (HMSC 119A); Spec Top: Hyphenated Americans (LIT 179A). They all sound vaguely intriguing, but to be honest, I have absolutely no idea what those classes would be about.
I should probably go to bed.
That is all for now.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
O hai blog.
I used to have a blog. Actually, it still exists. I began it the day before my 14th birthday, my last post was a little over two years ago. Why did I stop writing? I used to love that. I don't know, but I decided to start again.
First posts are always the hardest. Everything is very open. Who is going to read this? What is this blog going to become, and what will I end up writing about? No idea. Probably nobody, nothing, and nothing.
College is amazing. When else will I live in a place where I can basically do whatever I want whenever I want with minimal responsibilities, and everybody is my friend? I don't know, but I feel like it's pretty awesome. I'm taking some pretty sick classes right now. My favorite one is probably my silent film class. I just did a presentation the other day on The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Rad movie. If you haven't seen it, I highly suggest it.
Just decided I'm probably going to try to post movie/music/book reviews in here.
I decided that I like college because I recently (read: last night) realized that since I came here, I became a very real person. Because I got to know myself very well, and I feel like I have developed certain opinions, viewpoints, outlooks, etc that will help shape my personality and my actions for the rest of my life.
For example, my life motto is pretty much that everybody should do whatever makes them happy. It sounds simple, it sounds like common sense, something everybody knows and thinks, but just try to keep track of how many people ask you What should I do? or What do you think? over the course of a few days. I don't know about you, but I get that pretty frequently. Lately, my response has been: Who cares? Do whatever the fuck you want. Why wouldn't you do whatever seems right to you?
People are too uptight and self-conscious about themselves, and I feel like that's what creates a lot of the negative emotions that people experience on a daily basis.
SMILE, FRIENDS.
:]
More on this later.
First posts are always the hardest. Everything is very open. Who is going to read this? What is this blog going to become, and what will I end up writing about? No idea. Probably nobody, nothing, and nothing.
College is amazing. When else will I live in a place where I can basically do whatever I want whenever I want with minimal responsibilities, and everybody is my friend? I don't know, but I feel like it's pretty awesome. I'm taking some pretty sick classes right now. My favorite one is probably my silent film class. I just did a presentation the other day on The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Rad movie. If you haven't seen it, I highly suggest it.
Just decided I'm probably going to try to post movie/music/book reviews in here.
I decided that I like college because I recently (read: last night) realized that since I came here, I became a very real person. Because I got to know myself very well, and I feel like I have developed certain opinions, viewpoints, outlooks, etc that will help shape my personality and my actions for the rest of my life.
For example, my life motto is pretty much that everybody should do whatever makes them happy. It sounds simple, it sounds like common sense, something everybody knows and thinks, but just try to keep track of how many people ask you What should I do? or What do you think? over the course of a few days. I don't know about you, but I get that pretty frequently. Lately, my response has been: Who cares? Do whatever the fuck you want. Why wouldn't you do whatever seems right to you?
People are too uptight and self-conscious about themselves, and I feel like that's what creates a lot of the negative emotions that people experience on a daily basis.
SMILE, FRIENDS.
:]
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